Monthly Archives: June 2018

HOPE

Words have power. God’s words have power. They offer hope when before there was none. They help you walk around a corner to your “suddenly” from whence you see hope. HOPE. I love that word. Not always seen, heard or felt, but it lingers in the background offering a sense that it can be OK again. It will be OK again.

Getting to suddenly isn’t as sudden as we would like. Losing hope causes your world to bottom out and it’s a steady climb up through the elements.

At first you can’t see why the grief, the betrayal, the tragedy that stole your hope, didn’t kill you. Or you wished it did because somehow that seems easier than what you are forced to bear in its wake. Darkness shrouds the hope that once was and leaves you alone, scared, and stuck under the covers.

Hopeless.

But as sure as night follows day, dark clouds do lift and seasons change. I know the winter can feel cold and unsure with hope frozen beneath the surface. Please remember this, ice melts, clouds move on and you can feel warm in the sunshine again.

Changing seasons is natural, but we don’t always like it. We see birth and death and we  navigate the life in-between. Sometimes we even hang onto winter because of the questions screaming in our heart.

How can I move on without my love?

What if I am hurt again?

What if my feelings don’t change?

Can it ever be the same again?

What will everyone think if I dare to be happy again?

We think if we let go and trust the sunshine to warm us, and it doesn’t, we have lost. Then it truly is over. Better not to try. Just leave me alone! Here’s where words come in handy. Right in the middle of the indecisionh is where a little injection of something from outside of ourselves helps. If we choose to believe them it’s like a leap from the highest cliff with no view of what’s in front of us. It’s faith and trust that believing words from an ancient book still have power to change.

Little-by-little. Minute-by-minute. Day-by-day.

Truthfully, at first I couldn’t make that leap. I had nothing left, no excess oomph … I hid in bed. But eventually what  helped was a knowing, sometimes a very faint knowing, that God did love me, He did somehow have my best in mind. The mystery will always remain as to “Why?”, but if you stay paralyzed there, you can’t leap.

My hope for you is that you can leap one day. Over and over until you see Hope like a beautiful summer rain welcoming you in to dance. It can be OK again. You can see hope again.

Believe. Trust. Hope.

John 14 image


Sucker Punch

A sucker-punch is an unexpected uppercut to the diaphragm often referred to as a “bitch move” as it leaves the victim breathless and without defence against the blows that follow.

The aftermath of tragedy can be the same, blow after blow and not a clue how to go on. In the haze, you don’t know what to dodge. Chest constricts, ribs ache, can’t breathe…

Endless paperwork, bills, decisions, loneliness, hopelessness, lostness, and then

A birthday

Christmas

Anniversaries

Each “special” day comes at you with vengeance. You want to hide away, frightened of the attack. You try to slip into the shadows away from the phone calls and the looks of pity. You just can’t get smacked down anymore. You really don’t think you can finish the bout, you expect that it should kill you.

But it doesn’t.

You live, you don’t know why or how, but you live. Somehow you catch your breath, stand a little taller and you can see the fight. You can dodge the punch you thought would kill you, you stand taller, it doesn’t hit you.

While you were clinging to the side of the ring, gasping for breath, head stooped, you couldn’t see. Couldn’t see hope, couldn’t see love, couldn’t see reason. In those moments where the pangs of grief didn’t engulf you, breath filled your lungs and gave oxygen to hope. As you dared to step out of the shadows and pray for more, healing could come. The bruises fade and your limp disappears. God heard you.

You can see what’s coming, you know what to expect and it’s possible to prepare for it. You are stronger. The initial tragedy hasn’t changed but you have. You don’t cower, you see the pain differently.

Yes, you are stronger.

Trust grows, determination deepens, and hope for a future does return. Never the same, but grit your teeth and turn to face the fight, step into it knowing you are strong.

Hope returned. I love Hope.


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